Have you ever read a Cosmopolitan article outlining the “dos and don’ts” of dating? Oh, (ahem), me neither. But if I had, I’d imagine it would look pretty similar to my advice on how to pitch a venture lender. Like any relationship, finding the right partner starts with building a foundation based on values, trust, and a shared understanding of what someone else brings to the table.

With that in mind, read on for an ode to dos and don’ts lists that I definitely never read:

As my wife can attest, it won’t always be flowers and candy in a relationship with a venture lender, but stick to this advice and you’re sure to live happily ever after.